I am writing regarding a complaint I made about the product you were supposed to send me, for wich I have just received a totally inadequade response. In addiction to this, I should like to bring to your attention the difficulties of getting attendance at your reception. Many prayers and not even one good answer.
I´m not waiting for the perfect product, but you got to admit that it´s far from what I´ve asked for. And I got to confess that I knew from the beggining that it was some kind of goods fated to defect. I´ve been trying different models and I haven´t had sucess with any of them. I also know that I´m able to change the product at anytime and any conditions. However, you also made it quite clear that as far as you were concerned, the customer is responsible for checking any changes and faulty parts of the product. So, here I am, once again asking for your understanding.
Not only did I phone your customer care line, but I am also sending you this letter. Perhaps you are unaware of the fact that I´ve been waiting for your response for more than three years. I know that I´ve been using your trials quite a lot, but this is a result of the extended break without the product concerned.
According to your advertisement, problematic products were supposed to have a better compensation. I need to provide you an explanation about my refuse of this supposed better ransom. They are all the same, so if something is different that means that I´m the one who have changed. Don´t treat me like a fool!
I just want you to apologise the problems I suffered and I ask in the name of the less fortunate wisdom to provide a solution for this inconvenience. You completely failed to create a product that fits me. So, in this situation, I will be forced to take the matter further and shall have no alternative but to keep using trials. Indeed, I would like to ask you to extend the validity. You should agree with me that thirty days would be perfect for a toy, not a human kind.
I´m really sorry for that and I look forward to a prompt and more satisfactory reply. Otherwise, it´s better not depending the continuation of the species on me! And I advise you that many others like me are thinking this way, as well.
Yours faithfully,
Girl in Kimono
Dear Girl in Kimono,
ResponderExcluirIt seems you got things a little mixed up. Therefore, I will try to make the facts straight to YOU* once and for all.
* Disclaimer: The term "YOU", when capitalized, is used to refer to your gender, collectively, not to your person, specifically.
- YOU are not my customer, but the product I created to satisfy my customer;
- You sent me a letter of complaint. Complaining was not the only ability I gave YOU, but the one YOU use the most;
- I owe you no apologies, and yes, YOU are the one who changed. YOU are the one who always changes. Consistency, or lack thereof, is one problem of my product, I should admit;
- Even though YOU are a product far from being perfect, my customer is very understanding. He had all sorts of problems with YOU, but he will not send YOU back for a refund, even though all replacements seem to have the same problems (but some of them come in nicer packages than others);
- Thirty days? A toy? My customer has dealth with the product and the problems it has caused him (like being expelled from Eden, for instance) for a few million years. Can a toy lead to eviction from Eden? Can a customer not get over a toy in such a long time?
I do not know who answered your previous complaints, since I have not had an official representative to deal with my customers for over two thousand years. I could not find a good replacement for my last one, who you people seemed to have some problems with...
Best regards,
Mr. God.
caralho, Deus me respondeu!
ResponderExcluirhahahaha... se eu não soubesse q vc só fala zuando eu ficaria puta e iria querer arrancar seus olhos do seu globo ocular por ser um machista de meia tigela! rs